It's not like it was easy and the most fun. Don't get me wrong. There were hard times. There were sad times. There were time when I wanted to pack up and go home. But I promise you, every single second I spent there was worth it. I became myself there. It is one of the places I feel most at home.
I insist on going back to the lake every summer. And when I get there. I feel so natural. Life makes sense. I understand things better. I slow down. Three hours at the lake is equivalent to about three days in regular people time. I never want to leave. But every part of me knows that I need to. That the lake has done it's work and that I need to move on. But I can never and refuse to ever forget it.
Whenever I go, I take several photos. It was this time around that I realized something...this place. It never changes. I have so many pictures of the same two mountains just on different days weather wise. But I fear that I'll forget them. And every time I see them, I'm reminded of how majestic they are and I feel an intense need to save their beauty and have it with me wherever I go.
But I realized something else.
Every time I see this place, it means something different to me. It's not like it visually looks different. It's not that the mountains change. I change.
When I left Redfish, I knew that my life would never be the same, but I didn't realize what was coming toward me. I didn't realize that I had so much more change ahead of me. But those changes would have been so much harder if I didn't know who I was. And I'm so glad that during my time at the lake, I found out who I am.
Because no matter how much changes in my life and how much I change. I know who I am. And I know that because of four beautiful months in a beautiful place.
The previous three photos were taken in three different years.
This is from my 19th Birthday. Never have I felt so loved by being thrown in a lake. Twice.
I feel like I will never be able to adequately express what this place means to me. Words are never enough for feelings. But I promise you. I feel things.
No matter where we go. We always find a way back home.
