Born To Run

My brothers and I were pretty big into comics when we were young. There came a time when I was in middle school when we had read every Garfield book that the library had and had made a good way through the Peanuts collection. So we started branching out. Along with Dilbert and Get Fuzzy, we also got into Pearls Before Swine. It was in this final book that I found this and I've never forgotten it:

Funny, right?

Well at the time I read it, I didn't laugh.

But it lead to my brother introducing me to Bruce Springsteen's Born to Run.

And let's face it, that song makes running away sound glorious.

Like it's an adventure. Like when you run away, you discover love, you can be any one you want to be. When you run, you are free and anything and everything can happen.

And that's pretty exciting. That song just screams "LIVE YOUR LIFE" to me. Maybe not to everyone else. But to me, that's how I feel.

So recently, I picked up a book: Born to Run.

Someone once told me that it's hard to sit and read this book because all you want to do is get up and run while you're reading it.

But I feel like so far (I definitely HAVEN'T finished yet), the book as taught me a little more.

Just as the song taught me to love metaphorical running. This book has taught me to love running. Yeah, I've ran a lot in my life mostly I prefer running for soccer and frisbee. But I've done quite a bit of running to simply stay in shape. But that was it.

As I've told people, "I run so I can eat ice cream and have rockin' calves."

But this book had me asking myself if that was the real reason and if that was a good enough reason. I mean, I could just do calf raises and lift weights at the gym. I mean, that works for a lot of people. But no, I run.

So I have reevaluated my desires and my goals.

And you know what, I love running.

And I run for legitimate reasons and I love to run for even more legitimate reasons.

The book talk about a lot of other really cool things.

Like how really, as humans, we're made to run and we can.

But that is for another post. I'm sick of talking about my over-injured body.

But really, if you're going to do something, know why.

"We'll run til we drop and never go back...because tramps like us, baby, we were born to run."

from the couch

when I was in the sixth grade, I fell off my little brother's bike.

if I could attempt to pinpoint the moment in my life when getting hurt became commonplace. I think that would be it.

shortly after this accident, I started playing soccer, and although only about 50% of my injuries in life have resulted because of soccer, it has played a major role.

in my mind, I have become invincible. I try anything because I am alive, and I am young and I am free.

yet, I like to throw myself at the ground and sometimes...the ground isn't cool with that.

upon my most recent fall, I texted my cousin and said "I'm so hardcore."

His reply.

There's a difference between being hardcore and being fragile.

I push too hard. especially that night.

there was this guy, he was being a jerk the whole night.

it was like he was trying to show off. but I'm not quite sure who he was impressing.

there came a point when I was guarding him and he said "throw it high, there's no way."

words cannot describe. not only did he make a stab at my height, but also my frisbee skills.

boy, I don't care how beautiful your face is (because really, he has a beautiful face). that isn't ever going to be endearing.

I have some great friends. friends who realized how rude it was, and also noticed how frustrated I was becoming. unfortunately, the more frustrated I become, the more reckless I also become. I started playing harder. Trying to prove that I was good enough. I was getting sore. I could feel my body getting angry.


then the pass came, I said in my mind "just going down on my knees, this won't hurt."
something happened.

couldn't stand. couldn't walk. so much pain. face in the grass.

carried home. put on the couch. given an ice pack.

and stayed.

for days.

not long after the fall. my roommate thought this was beyond comical. it's true.

I mentioned before that I have some great friends.

They took care of me.

I've been known to push through pain. But I was terrified to make it worse.

Knees are tricky.

So I actually rested. I hated almost every minute of it.

So much ice, so much sitting.

But it was good for me. I at least allowed the healing process to start normally.

I may be pushing through now. But I started it right.

I'm glad for friends.

I'm glad for healing.

and I know that I am fragile. and that maybe, I push too hard.

but I'm still alive, and young, and free.

so I'm going to keep playing.