rock thoughts

The other day, I had the afternoon off and decided to spend some quality time in nature, and luckily enough, I never go anywhere without a sketch book and some scratch paper. So as I walked along a river I found a beautiful spot and sat and pondered a while and got up and decided to further my search and found the perfect rock, I got out my paper and started writing. And this is what came:

You never know if there's something better down the road. Sometimes you have to give up something good to get to something better. But when do you reach THE BEST? How will you ever know? Isn't it sometimes okay to settle because you're the happiest you've ever been. You may be able to reach that same level of happiness, but will you ever be able to surpass to surpass it? I think I like rivers so much because of the sound of the water, it reminds me of the ocean. That's where I've been happiest around water I think. Makes me sad for this beautiful river, because it just isn't doing it for me.

I don't want my life to be that way.

I don't want to have to settle for a river if I know there's and ocean.

I am now developing a system in which I can quickly and easily compare boys to water.

oh bother

1. Yesterday, my best friend got married.

Then in church, we got a marriage talk.

Then at our fireside. We got another marriage talk.

I don't care, I will someday.

But I really would appreciate hearing about something new and exciting for a change.

2. I use to love weddings. But now they're stressful.

3. I should be too young to have to think about these things.

4. I hope I don't have to go to another wedding for a while.

5. As complicated as my feelings are about love and marriage and stuff. This will always be one of my favorite places in the world.

everything in its rightful place

in the sunshine today, I sat in the grass and looked at the place I sometimes call home (although, the location of my home has become very- not solid). but I sat in the sunshine, in complete, utter happiness, and wondered how I came to be in such a perfect situation.

then quickly realized that it wasn't important.

I am happy. I have my family. I have my friends.

and the sun is shining.

the sky is a beautiful blue

and grass, gorgeous green.

there is not much more this girl could ever ask for. ever.

missing you

it's amazing how accustomed I have become to missing. I never in my life thought I could miss so much. missing is kind of a sad occurrence in a life. missing is to say that you had something great, something that you cared for deeply, and lost. I think people often misuse the word "miss".

I was just looking at some pictures and found myself saying:

I miss my yellow wall.

How could I be as selfish as to think that something as menial as a yellow wall was worth that verb. Moments before I was missing a color, I was missing people. Real people who have touched my life.

People are worth missing.

So many things we miss because of the memories attached. So many times, we miss things just because we are uncomfortable with the changes going on around us.

Of all the things, places, and moments I miss, I also feel regret or sadness when I miss them.

Regret in that I didn't take advantage of the perfect moments.

Sadness that I didn't appreciate these things more while I had them.

Yet as much as I miss these things, I feel that the time I take missing them, I am making more things to miss.

But to miss a person, is different. To miss a person is to miss the feelings, the memories, the things, the words, their smile, their laughter. A person is a wonderful thing to miss. And I have learned that no matter where I go or what I do, I am going to be missing some one. I may choose to not miss a thing or a place, but to choose to not miss a person is quickly becoming obvious to me something that I cannot do.

But as much as I miss, I feel the importance not waste the time I have.

the last thing I want to miss is opportunities.

because as ridiculous as it is to miss my yellow wall

it would be worse to miss the time I thought I about painting my wall yellow.