raised by wolves

Just before I started kindergarten, my mom announced that we would be having another sibling.

I hoped with all my heart that it would be a girl.

So when my little brother was born, I was less than thrilled.

I only wanted a sister. That's all. I thought that no girl wanted a sister as much as myself, yet I was stuck with four brothers. FOUR.

A few years later, I had made a lot of friends, and they all had sisters.

After a few visits to their houses. I didn't want sisters anymore.

I've learned a lot from my brothers. And as they're growing up and amazing things are happening to them and their lives, I sometimes forget that I'm growing up too. I feel like I could sit and watch all the amazing things my brothers accomplish and not have to accomplish anything myself. 

My brothers inspire me to do better. To try harder. They make me a better woman by being splendid men. I often feel sorry for the guys I date and even just the guys I know, because they don't understand the standard that my brothers have set. I see my brothers and believe that there are guys that exist somewhere on this planet that are like them. And in my luck, I have come across a few that are pretty close.

Life is so interesting. We are born into families and because we're family, we become instant friends. I realize my brothers and I get along well most of the time because we were raised in the same household with the same rules and ideas on life. Yet we were all taught by different teachers, have had way different life experiences and are indeed in different stages in our lives. All the time. But somehow it all works out. I can happily say that my brothers are the best friends I have. They know what to say to make me feel better without knowing something is wrong. When we're together, we always have things to talk about. My brothers understand me when I say stupid things. 

There's something magical about it all. I sometimes wonder if I met men like my brothers if I would even hang out with him. Because maybe, what makes my brothers and I such good friends is the fact that we've bonded over the years. Although it didn't feel like bonding as it happened. The hours in the car to go on vacations where we all put our headphones in and read our books. I don't remember what we talked about as kids. But I know we talked. I know that we did countless things with each other. Which is why, even now, when we get together, we have no problems entertaining ourselves.

I'm sure others feel this way about their siblings. I'm sure I'm not really presenting anything new and different to the world. I just feel that I am so content in my life right now. I think it's because I am watching my brothers do all these things and have all these cool experiences. And this summer, I realized that so much of who I am is because of my family. We're all so far apart right now. It's weird for me to not have a sibling around. I've been spoiled enough for the past two years to always have one there for me. It's been a nice cozy college experience for me. If I felt lonely, or sad, or overwhelmed- seeing my brother always did the trick to make it all better.

Now it seems like I am truly on my own.

I am making a name for myself, by myself.

And it's strange.

But it makes visits so much more special.

Whether it's jumping into the ocean with one, or walking through Winco as he shops with the other, or watching the Little League World Series at the local burger joint with the other, I look back at these times and see them as some of the best of my summer.

And as the years go by, good times and bad will pass. But we'll get through it.

And although we're REALLY bad at communicating. Like really. That's just one of the not-so-perks of brothers...I'm determined to improve. And even if it doesn't improve. They're still my brothers. And they're still my friends. They aren't really wolves. But they have done a lot in raising me.