motivators

sometimes, I'll be going through my day, and it hits me-

reality.

I'm a college student.

a step toward true adulthood-

and I'm making it.

I remember at six or seven, writing to my cousins going to college at the magical BYU.

...they were superheroes...

as I sit in an apartment just upstairs from the one that they sat in 13 years ago, reading a letter from their little cousin-

I wouldn't necessarily call myself a superhero.

but I know, my six year old self is incredibly proud.

now, fast forward ten years- age 16:

I should have been thinking about college a little more seriously, but I wasn't.

I had a boyfriend. I had a flawless GPA. I had my best friends. I had loads of extracurricular's. I had a flourishing social life.

And I had some fabulous teachers.

All of which, I see pretty much every time I go home.

except one.

and she's the one that I wish I could see.

She is one of the best teachers I have ever had.

ever.

She taught me to love learning. She taught me how to write.

She taught me to push myself, to take my creativity and make it a masterpiece.

She taught me that I could do anything. She constantly validated my work.

But she also constantly pushed me to improve.

I fell in love with learning because of her.

She is also the one that lead me to insects.

And that has turned into a love affair that is going to support me for the rest of my college career.

And I wonder if she even knows.

leap day

we have an extra day this year. use it well.

anyway, in honor of the 29th of February - we watched the movie Leap Year.

I decided as I was watching it, that people like the idea of love at first sight, or falling in love in a few days because it makes it look so easy.

But in reality, we don't want that to happen to us.

We want time.

If we fell in love that fast, it would freak us out.

interesting.

an ode

to Hugh Laurie

Not who you were expecting, huh?

Really, I'm not one to know a lot about celebrities.

I sometimes pretend that they don't effect my life at all.

But really, that is a crazy thought.

Celebrities effect us whether we want them to or not.

Like most Americans- my first exposure with Hugh was through House M.D.

and I thought he was pretty swell.

And like most Americans, I realized that this was not my actually my first exposure.

He was in Stuart Little (which granted, I've seen twice).

And he was in the non-animated 101 Dalmatians, which I loved as a child.

But all the same, I thought he was a decent actor.

Recently I have found myself laughing at the pre-Americanized Hugh Laurie.

As Bertie in Jeeves and Wooster.

and the Prince in Black Adder.

Pretty much, he has always been hilarious.

But most of all.

Hugh Laurie sings the blues.

and dang Gina, he sings them well.

and if you ever watch him.

he loves every minute of it.

so this is my ode to Hugh Laurie.

He is passionate.

He loves what he does.

He's good at what he does.

And what he does makes me happy.

if this is a game

I never got the instructions.

I wish I had some instructions right now.

for the first time in my life.

I have no plan.

it's terrifying.

I don't know where to start.

I don't know where I'm going.

for the first time in my life.

I am unsure.

I am unsure of what I can do.

it's hard to believe that last summer I picked up the nickname "Too Sure Callie"

well friends, now I'm Unsure McAllister.

I'd like to think of it as humility.

but really it's just fear.

for the first time in my life.

I am finding myself afraid of the unknown.

for the first time in my life.

I am admitting it.

and.

for the first time in my life.

I am going to overcome it.

I gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which I must stop and look fear in the face . . .

I say to myself, I've lived through this and can take the next thing that comes along . . .

We must do the things we think we cannot do. — Eleanor Roosevelt

new horizons

well friends, I have a lot of choices to make in the near future-

but no plans...

so I'm looking into the horizon.

not quite having a clue of what it is.

or how I'm going to get there.

the sky is the limit.

for the holidays

...there is no place like home....

the time has come

I'm starting to realize how much of a choice happiness truly is.

if I have one bad thing happening in my life,

it does not have to affect every other aspect of my life.

while studying at this university it is not uncommon to be surrounded by people who strive for perfection.

people who want to go to grad schools across the world.

students who want to keep academic scholarships, be well rounded individuals, look fantastic, serve others, be the best church member in the world, and fall in love(gross).

I would be lying to say that I don't strive for MOST of these things MOST of the time.

But this semester I have been hit with the humility stick.

I can't do it all right now.

I don't have to do it all right now.

I can come up with all the plans I can and work as hard as I want, and I ultimately don't really get to be the final deciding factors in a lot of the outcomes.

I'm just required to do my best.

Isn't that a comforting thought.

Eternally speaking-

I'm not going to be miserable if I fail a test.

crazy, right?

I know so many people who think that life is over with less than a 90 on any assignment test or class.

These people, have hard lives.

I watch stress creep into their bodies and make a home.

Girls with pounds of potential feel like they are nothing.

Yet they still work so hard that they feel nothing but the constant hunger for future success.

Until that future success is reached-

They cannot take a break.

They don't sleep, they cry over everything, they wonder forever why they are single, they feel guilty when taking the time to interact with people...

And technically speaking, these people have "success".

But they don't KNOW it.

Nothing frustrates me more than the fact that they don't know how spectacular they really are!

People spend so much time looking at what they have yet to do that they don't realize all that they have done.

These people have success but never feel it.

Happiness my friends.

Happiness.

We choose to be happy.

We choose to look at what we have in our lives and then feel something about it.

It's beyond wonderful to look at the things that can make you smile!

When you find reasons to smile, fake or genuine, it's hard to feel any anger and it instantly relieves stress.

So though my life has been falling apart in what seems like every aspect-

I constantly look for things that make me smile.

And you know what, I've had very few sad days.

Because sadness is not worth missing out on what life truly is.

Happiness.