I woke up at eight thirty and started reading my book. I haven't even managed to get out bed to even eat or get a drink of water or shower.
I keep thinking of things I could be doing with my day.
I think of the run I need to go on, the hike I want to take, the breakfast or lunch to eat, the yoga to do, the people to call, to text, the social contact to make. I think of the friend who leaves in an hour for two years. The friend who I have been living down the street from for two months and have managed to see once a week. But the friend I'm going to miss all the same.
I think of all these things-
and then I go back to reading.
It reminds me of childhood.
The summer I read all the Harry Potter books, the summer I read the first three Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants books.
I would just wake up and read.
Eventually, I'd get out of bed and swim and do something amazing with my life and family.
But my days always started in some one else's world. The world of the fictional characters who seem still like old familiar friends.
A year ago, I went through a phase where I wouldn't read because I'd get lost in someone else's life and waste my own.
Now as I read, I feel like I'm getting back in touch with my younger self. The self that knew that there were twenty four hours in a day and had no problem spending just some of them with my nose in a book.
Life was more simple there. In that world. In the heat of California.
I had no responsibilities.
All I had to do was be happy.
Isn't that such an easy task.
Now I feel the need to stay in touch with everyone.
To know about their lives to feel like my life exists.
Back then, I had an identity. I knew who I was and all I needed was my mom, dad, and brothers to survive.
That holds true still.
But there are more truths now.
I now need my friends.
But as much as I need them in my life to survive.
My life can survive without them.
And for now, I will read.
I will read until I get up and run.
And then, I will read some more.
And I- will be happy.
I read for different reasons too. Sometimes it is to learn, sometimes it is to be other people lives, sometimes it is because I'm board. Sometimes it is to improve my thoughts and life. Any reason to read is a good one. I miss those days in California when we would get up and go out to the pool...being a responsible parent and all, I went with you. But Callie! It was Hot!
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