I Feel Pretty

I wouldn't say that I'm obsessed with how I look. In fact, I feel pretty great having short hair, never wearing make-up, and always wearing my glasses. I am constantly saddened when I hear remarks from the beautiful people in my life such as:

"I just look ugly today"
"I look fat"
"I need to work out more"
"My hair just is stupid today"
"I need to eat less"
"I can't, or I'll get fat"

It's true that most girls (and probably most boys) have struggles with accepting their appearance. There is always someone who looks prettier and there is always something that won't be perfect. I have written several papers on the definition of beauty. It's one of those things that I get passionate about. It's why I want to work with women with eating disorders. I want the everyone in the world to see themselves in a positive way. Because I rarely meet an ugly person but I'm sure I've met plenty of people who feel as if they are ugly.

I usually pride myself on how comfortable I am in my own skin. It's probably pretty comparable to vanity. But I don't think it's THAT bad. But I have a confession to make. It's a confession that was inspired by an episode of Glee. In the episode they sing this beautiful song (check it out, I dare you) and then you find out that the beautiful cheerleader use to be not as perfect looking.

As the character tells her story. It reminds me a lot of my own. I looked different in middle school. I found out that I was athletic when I started playing soccer and lost quite a bit of weight and then went through a growth spurt. I stopped wearing glasses, had braces, and started parting my hair on the side. Instead of straight down the middle. I started wearing clothes that fit me better and in the middle of all of this, I moved to a different state. And I gained a lot more confidence. I became a totally different person.

But unlike the character in the show, I don't hate what I looked like. It doesn't haunt me to think that someone might find out. I definitely don't think that what I looked like or what I did in middle school is killing who I can become. But I know that it's a part of me and in ways, it still haunts me. I once showed these pictures to a friend and he said "Is that really you?" What he didn't realize when he said this is that sometimes if I don't look in a mirror, that is how I picture myself in my head. Sometimes if I'm even looking in the mirror, that's what I see. I see my little eighth grade self. I often feel as if nothing has changed.

But so much as changed. And really, I'm glad that I'm still connected to that self from middle school. But most of all. I'm glad that I can look in the mirror and think that I look beautiful. In a recent talk to the men of the church President Thomas S. Monson said:

And although I can't really recall a time when a man other than my father told me I was beautiful, except for once. I feel blessed to have the confidence to know that I am beautiful. That even when I see myself as being in my middle school body, that I still feel beautiful. And I think he has a point. Every one deserves to feel that way. And maybe telling them has the effect to make it especially true. And that maybe, it will make a difference. 

And maybe they need to be reminded because maybe,

they aren't seeing themselves for who they are that day.