and I think it's going to rain today...

I was going through a notebook from my junior year of high school today. That seems like it was forever ago, it was only two years, a lot has happened since those days. I hate to say it, but I think those were possibly the best days of my life. Most of what I remember from junior year is the pure happiness I always felt. Nothing could bring me down.

It's not that I'm not happy now, it's just that I don't seem to have that pure joy that comes from knowing who my friends are, knowing that I'm doing the right thing. Knowing that someone is there for me no matter what happens. And succeeding in just about everything that I try at. But it is quite alright that this happiness is not here, it makes me enjoy the happiness I have now, and look forward to a day when that happiness comes again.

I was in class, looking at this notebook, avoiding the discussion, and I came across a list of 25 ideas for a speech that I would be writing in the next year. I looked at all these topics and realized that I use to be my own person, I use to believe in things, fight for what I believed and contributed to conversation. It seems that the happiness I had gave me confidence, I was willing to be that person that I know I am. So I am now in search of my opinion, my feisty self that I lost somewhere with all the low stress, happy life.

it's not my fault that when I was a baby I was dropped in a box of glitter
[and I've been shining ever since]